Tayuya's Anger, Kidomaru's Mistake
by Captain LeBubbles
Summary: Tayuya awakens in Kidomaru’s bed and demands an explanation. Sakon always knew she would sleep with one of them, but he always expected it would be him. KidoTayu, hints of one-sided SakoTayu, and shades of KimiTayu if you want it to be.


_Tayuya's Anger, Kidomaru's Mistake_

By: The Bubbles

Summary: Tayuya awakens in Kidomaru's bed and demands an explanation. Sakon always knew she would sleep with one of them, but he always expected it would be him. KidoTayu, hints of one-sided SakoTayu, and shades of KimiTayu if you want it to be.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. What I _do_ own is a dull spork for menacing nosy lawyers.

A/N- I'm not big on the title. Any ideas? Also, I'm offering a cameo in my next story to whoever finds the Coupling quote. My next story after they find it, that is.

(o.o.o)

//Denotes thought//

(o.o.o)

Tayuya slipped into the world of consciousness at around ten and immediately regretted it. Her brain was pounding into her skull. If she had to describe the feeling, she would say that it was as if someone had become trapped inside her head and had summoned a giant mole or some other digging creature to dig their way out. She moaned and clutched her head, hoping to alleviate some of the pain.

"Why don't you get Sakon to make you his hangover cure?" a nearby voice asked. She growled something incoherent and opened her eyes enough to see who was talking to her.

"Get out of my room, Kidomaru," Tayuya ordered before closing her eyes again. Even the dim light of the one candle on the desk was too bright.

"Actually," Kidomaru said, "If you'll open your eyes for longer than a second, you'll see that this is my room."

"What are you talking about?" She opened her eyes and looked around. "What the Hell?"

She had realized two things upon opening her eyes. One, she was completely naked from the waist up, and two, she was completely naked from the waist up _in Kidomaru's bed_. She shrieked somewhere between angry and embarrassed and wrapped the sheet around herself.

"Why am I in your bed, Spider boy?"

"That's a funny story, actually. See, it all started last night."

(Flashback)

_Tayuya stumbled drunkenly through the corridor and bumped into a wall. Muttering obscenities to whomever it was who moved the wall, she stumbled onto the end of the hallway- somehow much longer than she remembered it to be- to where there were two doors. One door was her own- the issue at hand was that she couldn't remember which one it was. She squinted at the signs on the doors, but they were still blurry._

_//That one says Tayuya, doesn't it? It must be this door.//_

_She pushed the door open and staggered in. Kidomaru was sitting on the end of her bed, clipping his fingernails._

_//Bet that takes him awhile.// She snickered at the thought of how long it must take the spider nin to clip his fingernails and he looked up._

"_What are you doing in here, Tayuya?" He stopped what he was doing and stood up._

"_Idiot. This is my room. What are you doing in here? You better not be getting your fingernails all over my floor."_

_He sighed. She was drunk again._

"_Come on, Tayuya." He took her arm and tried to steer her in the direction of the door. "This is my room. Yours is next door."_

_She threw his arms off of her._

"_Shut up, you stupid spider, and put those hands of yours to good use."_

(End Flashback)

"Did I really say that?"

"Well obviously I've cleaned it up a bit, but you get the general-"

"No, I mean that about putting your hands to good use."

"Well you were drunk."

"I can't believe you! How dare you take advantage of a lady like that just because she'd had a few too many to drink?" Here he snorted. Tayuya was about as far from being a lady as Jirobo was from being a girl. "You're so… so… Aaargh!"

She got up and stormed out, the sheet still wrapped around her light frame. No sense giving him any more looks than he'd already gotten. Kidomaru sighed. He probably wouldn't be getting his sheet back anytime soon, which was a pity because he really liked that one (it had a spider web pattern on it).

(o.o.o)

"I can't believe him," Tayuya muttered. "Taking advantage of me like that."

"Yes, I know," Ukon said from his brother's back. "That's the twelfth time you've said that."

Sakon was currently in the process of preparing for Tayuya his Always Good, A Plus, One Hundred Percent Guaranteed, Nearly Patented Cure for a Hangover. He was also humming, which Tayuya found to be very annoying, as the pounding in her skull had not stopped.

Ukon took out one of his arms and scratched his nose. "You know, Tayuya, I always knew you'd end up sleeping with one of us. Of course, I always thought it would be Sakon here."

"You're such an idiot, Ukon."

"No, he's serious," Sakon said, taking a break from his humming. "The very first time we saw you, he goes, 'Sakon, that girls going to sleep with someone on this team sooner or later. It'll probably be you."

He turned around and handed her a glass of some puce colored liquid- his Nearly Patented Hangover Cure.

"Just drink this, all at once, and then count to forty-seven, and hold your breath for as long as you can."

Sakon already had his Nearly Patented Hangover Cure before they'd met him. It was a secret recipe, and even Ukon didn't know what was in it.

Tayuya followed his instructions to the letter. Once, Kimimaro had tried to get by with just drinking the cure, but forty-eight seconds later he'd become even sicker than before. _"You see?" Sakon had said. "You can't go cutting corners."_ After that, anytime one of them got drunk, they went to Sakon for help.

//One Kidomaru, two Kidomaru…// At least Kidomaru had some use; his name was the right length for counting seconds. At forty-seven Kidomaru's, Tayuya took a deep breath and held it as long as she could. Already her headache was beginning to subside, her vision was less blurry and her memory was clearing up. She blinked several times as the memories of the previous night flooded into her mind. She set the glass sown angrily and stormed out.

"KIDOMARU!!!"

(Flashback)

"_Come on, Tayuya." He took her arm and tried to steer her in the direction of the door. "This is my room. Yours is next door."_

_She threw his arms off of her._

"_Shut up, you stupid spider, and put those hands of yours to good use."_

_Kidomaru gulped nervously as Tayuya sat down on the end of his bed. She stuck out her foot._

"_A little birdie told me you give good foot rubs."_

"_Oh." He breathed a sigh of relief and began rubbing her feet. _

_Tayuya sighed contentedly. The little birdie (Kabuto, if you're interested) had not lied, and she could feel all her cares and worries disappearing with every movement of his many arms. _

_Kidomaru finished one foot and moved over to the other. He looked pensively up at her. She seemed content enough, and it did not seem as if she was planning to hit him._

"_You've been on your feet a lot lately, haven't you?"_

"_Mm-hmmm…" she answered dreamily._

"_You should have come to me sooner. Sore feet can slow a person up on a mission." //Not to mention that you're scary enough when you're not in pain.//_

"_That feels really nice." She flopped down onto the bed, her foot still sticking out. Within seconds she was asleep._

_Kidomaru checked that she was really asleep and let up on the massage. He used two sets of arms to lift her up and used the third pair to pull the covers over her body. After a moment's hesitation, he leaned down and kissed her forehead lightly._

"_Sleep well, Tayuya."_

(End Flashback)

(o.o.o)

"I can't believe him! He's such a jerk!"

Kimimaro bit into his bagel and looked politely interested at what Tayuya had to say. Even the practically invincible Kaguya knew better than to push the flutist's buttons when she was in this mood –it didn't help matters that he was bedridden- and so he resigned himself to listening and saying 'yes' or 'no' or 'he didn't!' at the correct points.

She finally finished her rant and began picking at the food on his plate. This annoyed him no end, but I must reiterate, even Kimimaro knew better than to annoy Tayuya when she was angry.

After she had polished off half a bagel and all of his grapes, she picked up on her rant again.

"It's bad enough that he took advantage of me when I was drunk, but now I find out that he lied to me and didn't _actually_ do anything!"

"That doesn't make sense, actually." Kimimaro began poking around his fruit bowl, searching for some grapes Tayuya may have missed. He found one and popped it in his mouth.

"Yeah well, I'm angry. Making sense tends to get in the way." She picked up a strawberry and bit off the bottom so as to suck out the juice.

"Tayuya, if I may offer a suggestion, perhaps you're angry that Kidomaru _didn't_ consider sleeping with you. Perhaps you feel hurt because you are attracted to him and he does not return your attentions."

Tayuya scowled and threw the half-eaten strawberry at him. It hit between the red dots on his head and bounced onto the floor.

"I'm not attracted to him. I used to have arachnophobia, for crying out loud!" She picked up a plum and inspected it for rotten spots.

"Didn't you get over your arachnophobia after you started working with him?"

"What's your point?" She seemed to find nothing wrong with the plum and bit into it.

"And you did have that crush on him a while back?"

"That was a long time ago," she mumbled. "I'm over it now." She pulled out another plum and bit into it, forgetting to check it over this time. A worm stuck his head out of the hole. She gagged. "Ew, gross!"

She threw the worm-filled plum through the nearby door, and they heard a thunk and muttering of curses as it hit Kabuto's head. He stalked out, holding the plum in front of him.

"Tayuya, you're proving a distraction to my patient. Please leave."

"Fine. But you need to inspect the food better before you start giving it out. What if Kimimaro here had gotten that one instead of me? He could have had a heart attack and died." She stalked out then, muttering profanities to herself. Between the curses they were able to catch things like, 'ingrates' and 'lousy cook' and 'stupid spider.'

"She's quite frightening, isn't she?" Kabuto asked.

Kimimaro looked mournfully at his bare food tray.

"She ate my lunch."

(o.o.o)

Jirobo was sitting on the couch reading a book. Tayuya threw a plum pit at his head.

"You. Into the gym, now. I need a punching bag."

Jirobo turned the page.

"Use a real punching bag for once, Tayuya. I'm just getting to the good part."

Tayuya looked at the title of the book in Jirobo's hands.

"You do realize that Lord Orochimaru's enemy writes those, don't you? By reading them, you're aiding and abetting the enemy."

"I'm not aiding anything. I'm reading a book. Now go away."

This was the wrong thing to say. Tayuya grabbed the little orange book and threw it out the window before grabbing his tunic and dragging him bodily to the gym.

(o.o.o)

Jirobo winced as one of Tayuya's punches landed uncomfortably close to his groin.

"Watch it Tayuya! What's gotten you so angry, anyway?"

She bared her teeth and answered, accentuating each word with a punch.

"Its that stupid. Spider. Kidomaru!"

The last hit sent him sliding back about an inch, impressive considering her physical strength when compared to his. He was sweating profusely now; she didn't seem to realize that she had gone into second state, completely bypassing the first one. Her hat lay in shreds on the ground around her feet and she was panting from the exertion of her workout. She finally could take it no longer and screamed as loudly and angrily and frustratedly as she could manage.

Jirobo put a hand on the flutist's shoulder.

"Are you ok, Tayuya?"

She took a deep breath and glared at him. "I am going to close my eyes and count to ten," she said calmly, "and I am going to open them again. When I do, you had better be gone."

She closed her eyes, and he beat a retreat. He could hear her counting all the way down the hall.

"One…" //Kidomaru// "Two…" //Kidomaru// "Three…" //Kido…// She could no longer take it. She threw back her head and screamed again. "Get out of my head!!!"

(o.o.o)

Kidomaru winced as he heard Tayuya scream again. He felt awful; if he had known it would upset her this much he would have straight out told her the truth about the previous night. He needed to apologize, but the problem with apologizing to Tayuya was that she tended to hit before hearing the whole apology. What he needed was a way of apologizing without talking to her.

And then it hit him! A letter! Or better yet, lot's of letters! So many letters that they would make words and sentences, and he could write them down and give them to her without her hitting him! It was perfect! He grabbed a scroll and a pen and began to write.

_Dear Tayuya,_

_If I had known you would get so upset, I would have told you the whole truth from the get-go. Nothing happened last night between us; you asked for a foot massage and that's it. Next time you get drunk and wonder into my room_

"Ok, that's stupid." He crumbled up the paper and threw it into the waste bin. This might take a while.

(o.o.o)

Snap-That was a really lame joke.

Tech- I thought it was funny!

Snap- My point.

(o.o.o)

Tayuya cursed and restarted her symphony from the beginning. She was trying to practice to calm her anger, but she kept getting distracted and having to start over, which to say the least wasn't helping at all.

"So you _didn't_ sleep with Kidomaru."

Tayuya's finger faltered on a chord as she realized Ukon was in the tree beside her. She sneered.

"What do you want, Ukon? And where's your brother?"

"Dunno. We're not joined at the hip, you know."

She snorted. "Yeah, just the neck."

"Right," he said. "Anyway, I'm just here for a bit of gossip. I didn't get all the details I wanted this morning, and you've been storming around here so much that it's hard to get near you without risking a limb, or worse. So you _didn't_ sleep with him?"

Tayuya briefly considered shoving her flute into places where the sun doesn't shine, but decided against it. It would be a waste of a good flute, after all.

"No, I didn't sleep with him. He gave me a foot rub, that's all."

"Then why are you so angry? Do you _want_ to sleep with him?"

Tayuya's answer was to shove the unfortunate twin out of the tree and jump off into the forest.

(o.o.o)

Bubbles- Oh dear. I seem to have run out of minions. What am I gonna do now?

Snap- You could end the story.

Bubbles- Shut up, you.

(o.o.o)

_Dear Tayuya,_

_Please don't be angry with me. I'm really, really, really sorry. Really. It'll never happen again. Not that anything did happen; I just mean that it will never happen. Unless of course you want it to. I mean_

"Oh, screw it." Kidomaru crumpled up the scroll and added it to the growing pile of rejected apology letters surrounding his waste bin.

(o.o.o)

Tayuya ran until she could feel her breath catching in her throat and stopped in a clearing to rest. The place looked familiar; hadn't they come here for a picnic just last week? Yes, there was tree where Kidomaru had scratched 'Sakon is Gay' and when the spider wasn't looking, Sakon scratched out his name and wrote Kidomaru's. Tayuya smiled. It had been a good day.

(Flashback)

_The others clapped as Tayuya finished her song and bowed. She liked playing her flute for fun; the instrument had been intended as a tool of art, not a tool of war. Kidomaru swept a flower out of the ground and gave it to her with a flourish._

"_You play too well to be a minion in Orochimaru's army," he said. "One of these days I'm going to steal you away from him. Then you can spend your life playing for fun and beating up who you want."_

_She smirked and elbowed Sakon playfully._

"_Better get in line then. Sakon here promised me the same thing last week."_

_They all laughed, because it was funny, and because they rarely got time to listen to Tayuya play and because Sakon was choking on his spring roll and because no one was angry, but Kidomaru had been one hundred percent serious. He hated that Tayuya had to use her talent to better the cause of a madman who didn't appreciate her, and he had already made the vow to himself hundreds of times. One day, after they had gotten Sasuke, when Orochimaru no longer put his focus on them, he would take Tayuya far away from the Sound Village, and she would get the happily ever after she deserved._

(End Flashback)

Tayuya scowled as the realization that the arachnid had been serious hit her. She buried her face in her hands.

"Kidomaru, why didn't you tell me you felt that way? It would have made things so much easier if you had."

(o.o.o)

_Dear Tayuya,_

_I realize that I should have told you sooner that nothing happened between us, much as I wish it had_

"Yeah, _that's_ a good way to start an apology letter." Kidomaru tossed the letter behind him and took out another scroll. "Now how to start?"

(o.o.o)

Bubbles- Wow, this story is turning out long.

Snap- Just don't let it drag on and on and not end.

Bubbles- Stop talking now.

(o.o.o)

Tayuya snapped awake.

//Whoa. Did I fall asleep?//

She looked around. The sky had taken on a nice rosy hue and the temperature had dropped significantly. She was shivering and realized that she was still wearing the shorts and t-shirt that she had put on for use around the mansion.

//I've gotta get back before Orochimaru sends out a search party for me.// She snorted at the thought of the Sannin caring enough to look for her. //But Kidomaru might.// She took off at a run in the direction of home. If nothing else, she had plans for Kidomaru that night… big plans.

But first, dinner, because all she'd eaten that day was half of Kimimaro's lunch.

(o.o.o)

"Here you go, Tayuya, Sakon and Ukon's Famous Omelet Surprise!" He set the omelet down in front of her. She grinned. Tayuya loved their Omelet Surprise. The surprise in Omelet Surprise referred to the contents. The twins, or Ukon in this case, usually put in whatever meat or cheese was available, along with a bit of sour cream and whatever else was lying around, and didn't always tell what was in it. That was the surprise, they said.

"All right, what's in it this time?"

Ukon waggled a finger at her.

"Now, now. You'll just have to wait and find out."

Rolling her eyes, Tayuya picked up her chopsticks and picked up a bit of the omelet.

"Mmmm… let's see, roast chicken, Monterey jack, and… and… Ah, there it is, banana peppers."

"Correct on all accounts." Ukon sat down at the table across from her. "Now then. You mentioned Kidomaru when you came in and you didn't sound mad. Tell…"

"All you need to know is to stay away from our end of the hallway. If you come near it, I promise you'll get embarrassed.

"I'll pass the word on to the others. Stay away from Tayuya's room."

(o.o.o)

Kidomaru looked up from the scroll he was scribbling on as Tayuya walked in, fuming.

"Hello, Tayuya, how are you today? Have you gotten over your-"

He stopped mid-sentence when she took off her shirt and pushed him back onto his bed, climbing on top of him and sitting on his stomach.

"What are you-?"

"Shut up, you stupid spider, and put those hands of yours to good use."

As she kissed him, the scroll he had been writing on fell to the floor, unnoticed by either of them.

'_Dear Tayuya,_

_I do apologize for lying. It was meant to be a harmless prank, but it escaladed beyond that. I never intended to hurt you, and believe me when I say that I would never take advantage of you. You are far too important to me for me to risk losing you for something so stupid. In the future, I'll think before I decide to play a harmless prank, and I only ask that you forgive my slight oversight._

_With all my love,_

_Kidomaru_

(End Story)

A/N- Is it just me, or did Ukon turn out to b e a total girl in this story?

Snap- It's not just you. He's girlier than Tech.

Tech- I am _not_ girly.

Snap- Said the boy in the cropped top.

Bubbles- Ok, like I said, whoever spots the Coupling quote, let me know. If you get it right, you get a brief cameo in the next story I write. Not the next story I post, because I've got a few already written or almost written, and they just need to be cleaned up a bit. So? Like it, love it, hate it, review it?


End file.
